What My Brother Says

I swore when I started to write for “publication” that I wouldn’t hold back, not in theme or language. I’ve spent my life tempering my words, trying to moderate what I said in public. Imagine holding an electric grinder in your hands and buzzing off all the corners and the edges.

I took it seriously, because I took my position seriously. Clergy people who regularly go off the rails offend against one of the eternal standards. A congregation is made up of many kinds of people, not all of whom share the views of the rabbi. Same for a priest, an imam, or a minister. In fact, the congregation is an instance of collective ownership, not in the crude sense of who pays the bills, but in the more delicate domain of belonging and connectedness. Lots of people help to make it go, and it is not the private possession of its putative leader.

It’s not like I shied away from controversy. I pissed off many people in my time about a range of issues from gender to liturgy and, more than once, the tenor of my Zionism. There isn’t really a domain where I don’t skew hard left, but I tried not to hit people over the head, especially during sermons on signal holidays.

I tried to imagine what it would be like to feel trapped. You’re sitting in your fancies in the upholstered seats of the Sanctuary, the rabbi erupts, and the molten metal starts flowing. I didn’t want people to see me as a torturer. There’s literally no one I know who doesn’t know my politics, but I have tried to be respectful about when I drop the hot metal. I have done it in class or in private conversation, but not in circumstances where you can’t escape me.

And now, suddenly the opposite is true. You could ignore the posts where you think I’ve gone wrong, but maybe some of you feel a little appalled. That’s certainly the case with my younger brother, Todd, who feels that I have been harsh and unguarded. I’ve tried to explain that I have turned the page and that the most pleasurable part of Life 2.0 is that I have been liberated from the constraints of my former life. His response: “I think that you have been a little harsh and unguarded.” I should mention that my brother is generally right.

Going forward, I’m going to work on this question. Calling RFK, Jr. “Secretary Brainworm” was arguably ill-advised. I think that there’s a case for the justice of that language, but perhaps I could scooch things back just a little. I’d be very interested in what you have to say.